When I was 28 years old, I got burned out. I entered a period of anxiety, stress and depression; psychological states previously unfamiliar to me. The reality I knew, was right there in front of me but I could not get back to it. I fought hard to get better, but my effort just pushed me further into the unknown. It was only when I managed to accept this new reality, and learn to live with it, that I got better.
In retrospect this period of my life has been very hard to relate to. The memories I have are disoriented and vague, mostly consisting of desperation, exhaustion, sleepless nights and strange new ways to experience the world.
One day on my way to work I photographed a a man in a subway station. He had a suit, briefcase. and a neat haircut. He stood there unmoving, staring into the void. The photograph stuck with me. The man seemed so small against the surrounding concrete. In him I saw my own crisis, and by looking at myself from outside, I gained a new perspective on my own burn out.
I started staging images with the suited man using a model. My messy memories became images that I could process with some distance. Through this process I created a new narrative about my burn out that is easier to understand.
I have made my crisis into a book dummy. I am looking for a publisher to work with to get it out in the world.
Below is a preview of the book dummy, if you are interested in seeing more, contact me, and we can arrange it physically or digitally.
I am also planning to make a small edition by hand. If you are interested in being on the list for ordering it, I can sign you up and contact you when it comes to fruition.