When I was 28 years old, I got burned out. I entered a period of anxiety, stress and depression; psychological states previously unfamiliar to me. The reality I knew, was right there in front of me but I could not get back to it. I fought hard to get better, but my effort just pushed me further into the unknown. It was only when I managed to accept this new reality, and learn to live with it, that I got better.
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In retrospect this period of my life has been very hard to relate to. The memories I have are disoriented and vague, mostly consisting of desperation, exhaustion, sleepless nights and strange new ways to experience the world. Without understanding the crisis, it was hard to move on. I lived in fear of blindly walking into a new burnout.
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One day on my way to work I photographed a a man in a subway station. He had a suit, briefcase. and a neat haircut. He stood there unmoving, staring into the void. The photograph stuck with me. The man seemed so small against the surrounding concrete. In him I saw my own crisis, and by looking at myself from outside, I gained a new perspective on my own burn out.
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I started staging images with the suited man using a model. My messy memories became images that I could process with some distance. Through this process I created a new narrative about my burn out that is easier for me to live with.
Book
Sequencing the photographs into a book dummy was part of the process with Saturn Return. The process of shooting, editing and iterating over dummies was important for me to understand my own crisis. I am looking for a publisher to work with to get it out in the world.
Below is a preview of the book dummy, if you are interested in seeing more, contact me, and we can arrange it physically or digitally.
I am also planning to make a small edition by hand. If you are interested in being on the list for ordering it, I can sign you up and contact you when it comes to fruition.
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On The Wall
In May 2022 I displayed the project where it was made: In my apartment in Kirkeveien. Jessenløkka is a group of historical buildings in Marienlyst, Many of the photographs are from the apartment or the surrounding neighborhood. As I sold the apartment, I needed a proper ending to the story of Saturn Return, and the exhibition marked an end of an era for me.
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I was invited to show the project at Fotografiets dag in Horten, Norway August 2021 after winning the audience favorite award at Cyan Folio 2020.
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Saturn Return was part of the Group Exhibition What Moves Us at Nordic Light Photo Festival in October 2020
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